Don't Love Your Life Anymore?

how to shift gears for lasting change

Hey there high achiever.  How you doing?  Feeling a little tense?  Or maybe a little frustrated?  Being at the top of your game can be an incredible, empowering, energising and addictive experience.  It can also be depleting, destabilising and consuming.  And both can be true - welcome to the paradox of functional energetics in your career.

For many successful women, we find ourselves in positions of leadership based on our abilities and performance in the workplace.  We are dedicated, ethical, smart and engaged.  We deliver strong results, often in multi-dimensional ways and we are eager to please.  Life is great!  And then it starts to slow down, often due to two reasons.  

  1. Children
  2. The Glass Ceiling

Yes, both prejudices are alive and well in our modern organisations.  As much as the media would have us believe that the world is an equal oyster, but I'll leave that for another post.  So what do you do when you cap out?  You've been at the same level for a few years now and you're frustrated at either the lack of movement or inspiration.  Perhaps you took some time out to have children and returned to find that much of the talk about flexibility and support applied only in very narrow circumstances, and now you're staring down the barrel of part-time work in a role that's not your passion but you do it because it works.  What do you do now?

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The quality of your energetics effects your performance in all areas of life - time, money, love and health.  When you get clear on your purpose, what you were born to do, then you can make informed choices about how you implement that in your daily life.  Because 9 times out of 10, when you're unhappy, unfulfilled, frustrated or apathetic - then it's because you're not doing what you're supposed to.  Things change.  You change.  They change.  It's time to figure it out.

You might talk with some friends, you'll find yourself drawn to books written by people who are successful in your field, you could set some new goals outside of your career focusing on health, wellbeing or travel.  You'll get a little buzz for life, but when you return to work you're faced with the same sh*t, different day and before you know it, you're whinging away into your wine again!

So HOW do you figure it out?

There are loads of options!  Too many in fact, t's difficult to tell them all apart.  Here's my suggestions, for what it's worth.  

 

Get clear on your purpose.  

Purpose is EVERYTHING.  When we have purpose we are productive, feel meaningful and we value ourselves.  Note that I didn't say "we feel like we have value", no - we actually value ourselves.  We know WHY we are doing what we're doing, not just WHAT we're doing.  So often we feel really purposeful in the beginning, we create a vision and set some clear, quantifiable goals then we go hell for leather achieving them.  We get so fixated on the achievement, that lose touch with the journey.  We arrive at our destination only to move on the next one, often not stopping to consider how we feel, whether the path we chose is delivering what we had hoped, and whether we were still aligned with the vision. 

 

Open up your heart.  

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This may seem counter-intuitive, but when you are operating from your heart, then everything else falls into place.  The trick is that in most modern organisations, being heart-centred is not included in your job description.  Research from the Heart Math Institute confirms the presence of a unique neural network in the heart that sends far more information to the brain, than vice versa.  The 'heart-brain' as it is known, is one of three brains.  We also have the 'gut-brain' and the regular old cranial brain.  What we are just beginning to discover is the far more influential roles of the gut and heart-brains in emotional states and how we feel.  Feelings occur much faster that the cranial brain can process them, and yet they heavily influence our decision-making, our analysis and assessment capability.  So why do our feelings matter?  If you are not in touch with your feelings and emotions then you are not aware of the influences on your frontal cortex and executive functioning.  You're being run by your sub-conscious, which actually makes up 95% of our day to day experience - despite the fact that we think we're so in control!

 

Audit your life.

Where are you living in alignment with your purpose?  What parts of your life pass the test of your purpose?  Find the areas in which you must make changes to become aligned.  Then rank them in terms of how much impact they would have, if you did them.  Chose your own descriptors that make sense to you eg., 'totally doable' or 'not in a pink fit'.  Easy changes come first, and things you don't think you could do if your hair was on fire come last.  When you look at this list what do you see?  With some structured information you can start to target your efforts to make the changes that will have the most bang for their buck, in terms of getting you into the life you desire.

 

Get help.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I know.  You don't like asking for help.  It's one of your crowing achievements being able to do everything, be everything and put yourself last.  How's it working out for you?  Getting help is the ultimate in self-care.  Got a skin problem?  You go to the Dermatologist.  Not doing much at the gym?  You get a PT.  Worried about what will happen to the kids if you cark it?  You get an Insurance Broker.  Getting help to clarify where you're at and where you go from here is no different, and it's totally necessary.  Why?  Because ALL of what is holding you back is in your head.  ALL of it.  And the daft bit is, that you can't get away from your own head.  It's really a very difficult task.  Coaching comes in many shapes and forms, and yes, you need to do a bit of exploration to figure out what's right for you.  Do you want a clinical psych approach?  Or a bit of a Tony Robbins self-help, empowerment junkie approach?  Maybe your classic old school management coach tickles your fancy.  It's your choice and each of these are totally valid, you just won't find them here ;) 

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If you're reading this page, then I'm taking a stab in the dark that there is more to you than meets the eye, that you know deep down there is more to life than the STUFF you've been doing and you want to know more.  Employing your underlying energetics is the path of truth.  From an emotional anatomy perspective, all facets of life are seen through the lens of energetics.  Where is your energy flowing or not?  How do the blocks and imbalances relate to what is playing out in your life?  Our bodies manifest our energetics and reveal who we truly are, with surprising accuracy and simplicity.  This work does not take away from all your experiences, achievements and skills - it adds the missing piece.  The bit that you have not yet understood, and that sheds light on your true potential.  

Epic Alchemy was born out of a desire to deliver a service that facilitates true empowerment, at a radical pace.  In my coaching practice I draw on a range of tools to help you uncover your truth, hold you steady while you come to terms with it (there are generally some surprises), then help you master your reinvention.  This is therapeutic life coaching, founded in your underlying energetic paired with practical, daily action to create the life of your choosing.

If you've been seeking a shift, to shed the layers that have been weighing you down and really, truly step into your light, then lets connect.  You'll be lighter for it, I promise.

Jo DanseyComment