Posts tagged Coaching
Get Your Soul on the Agenda

There are sssoooooo many reasons why I want you to come to these workshops. So many.

But they all roll up into one big one - because I want the best for you. Sounds cheesy right? But true nonetheless. I love helping others. I love lifting you up. I love helping you release. And I love, love, love helping you re-connect with yourself and FEEL your potential.

When I share the Desire Map work with people, their faces light up, they smile, I can see their hearts engaging. I can see their body being flooded with “I want this because I already feel good just talking about it!”. Every. Single. Time.

I want that for you.

Desire Mapping is a nurturing experience. It is the emotional equivalent of an all day spa-retreat. It’s the thing you do to care for yourself, to renew and rejuvenate and to send the message that says “I give a shit” about me, about how I feel and about how my life pans out.

The Get Your Soul on the Agenda workshop is an opportunity for you to get super clear on what you want, and how to make it happen. You don’t need any experience. Just turn up, ready and willing. I’ll bring the tools, the space, the guidance and the love.

The foundation of this work is the iconic Desire Map. A structured process of enquiry into five life areas, that draws out your core. Your deepest motivators. Your Core Desired Feelings. Wrapped around this process are Emotional Anatomy, Emotional Freedom Technique and Essential Oils, creating a truly unique experience that nurtures you with strength and focus. Aromatic anchoring is paired with EFT to create new emotional memories, making your Core Desired Feelings more accessible and creating visceral, powerful responses in your body. After all, it is the vessel that brings your desires to life!

Check out this sneak peek for a breakdown of the workshop and all that is included. Then head over to eventbrite and grab your ticket. The year ahead has never looked better!

Join me: Saturday January 12, 2019 @ Santosha Yoga Space, Paddington.

Introduction to The Desire Map

A five-day exploration in identifying your deepest desires. Based on the best-selling book The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte

You want it.

 Aspiring. Hoping. Reaching. So you make a plan to get it. The bucket list. To-do lists. Objectives. Goals.

 

Except…

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You’re not chasing the goal, you’re chasing a feeling you hope the goal will give you. So what if you first get clear on how you actually want to feel in your life, and then set your intentions? Game-changer.

 

Created by Danielle LaPorte, The Desire Map is a tool for holistic living. It puts your Core Desired Feelings at the heart of your goal setting and life planning. And it all begins with YOUR FEELINGS.
 

Want a taste? Introduction to The Desire Map is a five-day digital exploration in identifying your deepest desires. It’s the first part of the Desire Mapping process.

 

Desire to Feel Better? Yeah, you do.

“Knowing how you want to feel is the most potent form of clarity you can have. Generating those feelings is the most powerful thing you can do with your life.”

— Danielle LaPorte, Author & Speaker

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WHAT YOU GET FROM THIS COURSE:

    ‣ Daily exercises sent to you for tuning into your inner desires.

    ‣ Bonus recordings for some auditory love.

    ‣ Clarity on how you feel and how you want to feel.

Here’s to feeling MORE of what you want! xx

Connection: why you're feeling out of whack and how to fix it

When was the last time you felt connected?  Like truly connected on a deep level, to something? As I journey through this part of my life, I am realising more and more the value of connection.  

Photo by  Kelsey Chance  on  Unsplash

Humans have an innate need for connection.  We were designed as communal beings who lived and evolved together in tribal communities, connected to each other, the earth, the stars and universe.  We've come a long way, and yet despite our incredibly busy, autonomous and distanced lives (or perhaps because of) we still yearn for deep connection.  

Without connection we are isolated, alone, insecure, fractious - we fail to thrive.  Connection is as necessary as food, water and shelter.

There are many ways in which we can be connected.  We can nurture our relationships by spending time with one another - even if it's via FaceTime - celebrate each other's wins and birthday's, and be present when circumstance calls.  Acknowledgement of each other in the present moment without judgement or interference, embodies deep connection in our relationships.

We can connect in our workplace.  Take a few minutes to say hello to your colleagues, even the guy who is always staring at his computer and never says hello to you!  You have no idea what is going on in his life, he could be dealing with incredible adversity and a simple hello could be the highlight of his day.

Get out in nature.  Being connected to the earth's energy is incredibly important for our physiology and psychology.  The earth is negatively charged, we are positively charged.  Spending time barefoot and connected to the earth has a balancing effect on our otherwise polarised energy.  This grounding is hugely beneficial for reducing inflammation and supporting the immune response.  In addition to that (in case it needs to be said), nature is where all of LIFE resides.  Birds, trees, flowers, insects, water, earth and all living things are out in nature.  Spending time amongst the 'living' brings us closer to the energy that is ever-present and constantly exchanging between all beings, including you and me.  Connection with nature has demonstrated numerous benefits for physical and mental health including reducing cortisol levels and inflammation, and improving cognition.  So get outside, eat your lunch in the sun, walk barefoot on the grass or on the beach.  It doesn't matter what you choose, only that you do it.   

Photo by  Kevin Quezada  on  Unsplash

And most importantly, connect with yourself.  'But what does that even mean?', I hear you ask.  At conception through birth and infancy we are connected with ourselves - we function on intuition, instinct and in the present moment.  As we grow we learn the idea of separation, that we are separate from each other, the earth, all living beings.  The medical model in which most western cultures operate, separates the body from the mind, treating both in isolation.  Traumatic events, traditional school systems, and the lessons and beliefs taught to use by our families reinforce separation of mind and body.  And in that separation, we lose ourselves.  We start to doubt, we look to external sources to validate our feelings and ourselves.  We adopt identities formed on the basis of expectation and belief, and we work hard, like really hard, to prove our worth.  We seek out more and more opportunities for external validation - building empires and acquiring all the accoutrements of a successful life.  And then we ache.  We literally ache, in the emptiness.

Despite having everything that apparently makes us happy, 1 in 10 Australians are on anti-depressants (the 2nd highest rate in the world).  Marriage rates are going down, as we insulate ourselves against imperfect relationships.  Children are living out the lessons of separation and comparative value, evidenced in bullying across the globe.  And more than 58% of all deaths, every year, are attributable to lifestyle choices.  Alcohol, tobacco, lack of exercise and stress.  All coping mechanisms for our lack of connection, to ourselves and each other.

So how can we shift the tide?  It's not rocket science, but it takes vulnerability.  And THAT can be scary.  Vulnerability is uncomfortable and in general, we go to great lengths to avoid it.  But it can lead to incredible rewards when we put ourselves out there, because that is where ultimate joy resides.  Think about the moments you feel closest to someone, it's when they are truly themselves with you and vice versa.  In vulnerability is where we find each other, we accept each other and ourselves.  Stop running from every moment of discomfort.  Turn and face yourself, there is much to be admired!  Emotional anatomy is an incredible practice for reconnecting to your true self.  Indeed it is not for the faint-hearted but the spoils are grand for those willing to go the distance.

What if every decision was....easy? THAT happened to me when I found my Core Desired Feelings. Learn more about yours.-3.png

The mind and body connection will support us in every way, if we allow it.  It is the future of medicine, where the physical will no longer be considered in the absence of the mental and emotional. There are innumerable ways to get into the practice of mind-body connection. Yoga, meditation, bodywork, dance or camping all work. Use essential oils to harness your natural chemistry and support you through fears and EFT to process your emotions, find clarity and redefine how you feel in life. And Desire Mapping? Wow.  That process will take you deep into connection with yourself, to find out what you truly want in your life. I find so much comfort in using these tools daily. Most importantly, I have a regular routine of using grounding oils on my feet because I have a tendency to be all up in my head, overthinking and analysing 24/7. So always, grounding oils on my feet and base of my spine to re-establish my connection to the earth. Generally I use Balance, Arborvitae or Cedarwood with a drop of Frankincense. Second, oils on the shower floor. I’m a morning shower person, you know? I am just not awake unless I’ve been under a stream of water! And a few drops of Aromatouch on the floor is a beautiful way to open my heart, awaken my body and senses through the energising and renewing properties of Peppermint, Basil, Cypress, Grapefruit, Marjoram and Lavender. I LOVE this blend. Consider all the emotional properties in this bottle - renewal, motion and flow, honouring the body, communication, buoyant heart and connection. Like hello, what a way to start the day! Throughout the day I use oils that support my physical and emotional needs, always with a view to bringing balance back to the body. And then comes the end of the day. I find the night a very sacred time, probably because it’s a rare opportunity for true quiet! I always choose my oils intuitively, tuning into the emotions of the day and what’s going on in my heart. I’ll diffuse oils that support me through those emotional issues, and therefore a good nights sleep. Rest is imperative to every system in the body and while I don’t always achieve it (musical beds and the demands of small children) my aim is that whatever rest I get is the very best quality it can be, so that it is restorative. I honour my body-mind’s need for deep, restorative connection at the physical, emotional and energetic levels.

Oils, EFT, Emotional Anatomy and Desire Mapping - yes these are all services that I offer, because that's what has worked for me. But connection looks different for everyone!  Maybe you adore rock climbing and you experience connection while you're hanging off a cliff face with your fellow rock climbing crazies.  Or maybe you need to dance naked around a fire-pit drinking cacao under a full moon!  What ever it is, you'll know it when you feel it.  It's blissful.  It's pure.  It's solid.  And it's easy.  Wasn't easy to get there, but easy once you are there.  You know?

I’d love you to share the ways in which you find connection, leave a comment below so we can all be a little more connected xx

The Value Proposition - the trick to making lasting change

What will I gain, if I do this?  Do I value that more than where I am right now?  This is the inherent question faced by many of us as we attempt to shift our behaviours.  'Trying and failing' is the ultimate self-sabotage.  We hand our power (and responsibility for it) to the external world and say, "oh well, I'll try harder next time".  Bullshit.  No you won't.  Not unless your value shifts before you create next time.

Everything is within our power.  Everything is a choice.  If there was a gun to your head, and you valued your self and your life, you would choose not to eat that chocolate, pour the next glass of wine, skip your next gym session.  You would CHOOSE you.  And it would be easy.

So why do we find it so hard?  Well, there are a few reasons.  Firstly, insight.  In-sight.  The practice of seeing into yourself.  Most of us are confronted by the idea that we don't value ourselves.  We turn away from the uncomfortable in favour of focusing on our strengths, creating glossy, insta-worthy moments to share for reinforcement and validation.  We live in a world where failures and shortcomings are sugar-coated and we consume positive reinforcement as if it's a food group.  The problem with this approach, is that it's not real.  The yucky parts exist.  They're not made up.  We just choose not to see them and in doing so we miss the whole picture.  Acceptance of the full-self, warts and all, is the first step in mastering your change.

Once you're ready to see, it's time to evaluate OBJECTIVELY.  What do you see?  What is serving you well and what is not?  Is that repeating pattern of succumbing to jealousy and raiding your partners phone really working for you?  How do you feel about yourself when you do it?  What about the way you constantly berate yourself about the unused gym membership or the over-used credit card?  Are you sick of having the same conversation with yourself over, and over, and over again?  Yes?  Great! Why don't you stop then?  And this is where it gets tricky......

You don't stop because you don't believe you can.  You don't really believe you have the capacity, the will or the worth.  And so you don't.  Then you prove yourself right, affirm the belief and keep on plodding with your "try better next time" approach.

Enter the Value Proposition.  The 'value proposition' is used in business strategy to clearly define the worth of a business.  It reflects the exchange of a cost for a benefit, and is inherent only to the individual.  For if we stood on opposite sides of the same transaction as giver and receiver, the value each of us derives from the same activity is different, and determined solely by each of us.

This beautiful woman is not me, but she looks like how I felt!

This beautiful woman is not me, but she looks like how I felt!

Whenever we are considering a personal change, we must understand the value proposition - what do we get from the effort, and do we value that enough to actually do it?  Let's use reducing alcohol consumption as an example.  For a couple of years I wanted to reduce my alcohol consumption.  I would regularly have a couple of glasses of wine every night, and I was sick of it.  Everyday I would tell myself that night I would either not have any or only have one, and every night, I would fail to meet that commitment to myself.  In the beginning I focused on all the external reasons like weight gain and toxicity.  But it was never enough to shift my behaviour.  Over time my motivation shifted.  I was sick of the constant self-criticism and failure, and I was sick of the hold that the issue had on my psyche.  I was thinking about it way too much.  In the end I raised it with my coach, who had a surprisingly unconcerned response, "oh, it's about value.  When you value something more than the wine, you'll stop".  

Ha.  Right.  So freaking true.  

Up till that point I had been talking about all the reasons why I should stop, but I didn't actually believe them to be true.  I didn't actually VALUE them.  I didn't value my body, so I really didn't care if I wasn't treating it well.  I didn't value myself, so I didn't really think that I was worth doing the right thing by, or keeping my commitments for.  And in that moment it became so clear.  No-one else could value me, for me.  My value has to come from within, defined by me, and exercised by me into creation.

Like a muscle, value is something you create with repeated action that sends visceral experiences to your body and mind, of value.  When you make a commitment to yourself and you KEEP it, you FEEL value.  When you consistently create experiences of value, you create a pattern, a habit, a neural pathway, a BELIEF in your value.  It becomes your default position, and as such you become really attuned to what makes you feel valued, versus what doesn't.

So if you're finding it hard to shift a behaviour, take a good look.  Do you really feel that you can do it?  Do you really feel like you're worth it?  And if the answer is no, well here's a bonus, that's ok.  It's ok and it's good to know.  Why?  Because you can't deal with something you don't know about.  You can't work with the reasons, or process the issues and pain to heal, if you don't acknowledge them.  So it's ok.  Stop, take a breather.  Do the work on you first, and the rest will follow.

Behavioural change is not easy, it's hard work.  But it is really simple.  Action leads to a felt experience.  Repeat those actions to build new behaviours and create new patterns.  Use every tool in the box to help you do that.  Essential oils are amazing for interrupting patterns because they have such an instant emotional effect.  You can chemically hijack your body's emotional response, to change the behavioural outcome.  Get a crew to cheer you on from the side-lines, whether it's family, a friend or a coach who can give support, clarity and empowerment for when the emotions suck.  And keep taking action.  No action is too small or insignificant, they all count because they all add to your Value Proposition.  Lo and behold, before you know it you've built enough experiences, to feel the courage, joy or mastery that you were aiming for, and now you have something to value.  You.

x

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The Holistic Triad
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Ooohhh, I was always fascinated by triads when I was a kid.  The organisation, effectiveness and efficiency appealed to me regardless of the crime!  They were focused on their goals, they utilised the tools necessary to execute them and they were successful.  Triads have an organisational structure that works.  Sure it's not very humane or pleasant but it remains effective over time, and I honour those fundamental characteristics.  And maybe there was a certain element of bad-assery about them :)  

Emotional Anatomy, EFT and essential oils are a match made in heaven when it comes to personal change.  The complexity of human behaviour is such that a single-focus approach will never, ever be the answer.  Think about it.  

Take the medical approach to managing depression, you get prescribed anti-depressants that block the re-uptake of ONE of your happy neurotransmitters so you've got more floating around in your system and you start to feel better, sure.  But you haven't identified the cause of the decline in neurotransmitter, you haven't dealt with the events or relationships that contributed to your despair and you definitely haven't engaged your innate energetic intelligence to release any blocks that are underlying your state of being, allowing you to grow, expand and receive joy.

You could take the psychological approach and seek therapeutic counselling for support.  You'll feel some improvement because you're engaged in a supportive relationship, and hopefully make some behavioural changes to improve life over time.  Standard psychological techniques take a considerable amount of time to work and generally rely on your long-term engagement in a therapeutic relationship.  In the meantime, your biology continues to influence your daily experience through it's reactive neuro-chemical conditioning (the chemical state of our bodies are constantly responding to external and internal stimuli, so while you are continuing to feel and behave in your depression, your body continues to operate in it's matching neuro-chemical soup).  Again, you haven't embraced and addressed the soul aspects of your experience, so you will continue to be confronted with the same lessons, over and over and over again.  Sound familiar?

Or, you take the energetic approach and seek the support of a healer and balance your chakras - you feel very zen for a short period until the root cause of your imbalance which is manifesting as depression reappears (because it will, until you address it) and bam, you're all out of whack again.

Don't get me wrong, each of these tools are a wonderful support and I admire every single person that takes brave action to help themselves improve their life, period.  Action is ALWAYS better than no action, even if it turns out not to be the right action, we learn and we keep taking more action, moving forward.

What I am advocating is a truly holistic approach.

Body. Mind. Soul.

Essential Oils. EFT. Emotional Anatomy.

The Holistic Triad.  Combined, these three tools address your biological state, your emotional baggage and your soul fractures.  In the form of completely pure, organic compounds that work in symbiosis with the human body (as opposed to synthetic drugs which are antagonists by nature), clinically proven psychological techniques that engage human energy systems and, the practical physical manifestation of your soul's developmental journey.

Whhaaaaatt?  I hear you say.  It's a lot to take in, I know.  But it's also really simple.  As long as you are open to to a couple of possibilities: 

  1. Everything is ENERGY
  2. Everything is CONNECTED

If you accept that everything is energy, and everything is connected, then it makes perfect sense that we can use these tools to change our lives.  If we take the example of depression above - using the natural chemistry of essential oils we can shift our mood, improve sleep, calm nerves and increase energy.  Using EFT we can identify AND process the experiences that lead to your current feelings so that you can release the related emotions that are keeping you in a depressed state.  Again, essential oils emotionally anchor your growth and provide stability through the process.  Using Emotional Anatomy we can uncover your innate characteristics and traits that help you to understand how and why you made the decisions you did, and change the way you relate to your Self, so that you make decisions that are better aligned from here forward.  When you act from a place of alignment then you make decisions that work for you, that add value to your life and allow you to serve your Self and others well.

What tools do you use to support yourself through growth and change?  Leave a comment, I'd love to know.

Jo x