Practical tools to empower you to be courageous
COURAGEOUS. When was the last time you felt it?
I am working with women all the time who are brave, strong, intelligent and impactful - yet they regularly show up feeling fearful and anxious. Worried about who they are, whether they're doing the right thing, are they enough? It's crazy and yet it's so common, myself included!
Recently, I was reminded of the courage within. As our eldest took an enormous leap of faith in letting go of one her bedtime rituals that she has held onto for months and months - terrified of letting it go. She would tell me, "no, I'm too scared" and I would get so frustrated knowing how capable she was, and yet she didn't know it.
More recently I felt a shift in her. She's been more confident, taking more risks, being more independent so I decided to raise it again with her, and again she said "no, I'm too scared". This time though I guided her to focus on her body, walked her through some affirmations and drew the links for her about how she felt different depending on what thoughts and words she chose to express. We practiced using positive words to replace fear, and she noticed the difference in her body. So with a gentle nudge she chose to have a go, to trust in her body, to have faith in herself.
And her PRIDE. Oh my goodness! Heart explosions everywhere. Literally, I felt my heart expand both for how she felt about herself, and how I felt about her. In this moment she has conquered the world and she is masterful. And I thought "my goodness she's so brave!". Am I that brave?
Quite literally, the heart chakra is all about acceptance, self-acceptance. Courage and pride are the most magnified expressions of self-acceptance.
It reminded me of how much courage we have as children. When the world is so big, new people, places, concepts, skills, feelings everywhere - and yet we ask them to be brave. EVERY DAY. And they are, repeatedly.
Then we grow up and somewhere between then and now, we get full of fear. Our horizons narrow and we focus on what we feel we can't do, what could go wrong, what other people will think. EVEN THOUGH, everyday we ARE being courageous. Every day we are navigating new terrain, mastering new skills in life, growing ourselves, doing our best.
Courage is not something that you get from the store. It is within. And like any muscle, it gets stronger the more attention we give and the more exercise it gets.
Focus on your courage. Know that you are enough. You are capable. You can do it. Give your energy to that which serves you, starve the parts that don't.
NEVER STOP BEING COURAGEOUS.
What to do when you’re not feeling courageous? Well, first step is to tune in - what’s going on, what fears are surfacing? Getting clear about the fear supports you to be targeted in your response. Just blanket going hell for leather without understanding what’s motivating you is both dangerous and ineffective. Courage sits in the heart chakra, but fear sits in the root. So it is worth looking at long term fears that you hold regarding your security, foundations, your belonging and survival. Keep enquiring and exploring until you hit on the issue that feels right. You’ll know it, we all do. Sometimes we don’t want to accept it, but that doesn’t mean we don’t know it. Challenge number one, don’t turn away ;)
I always use a rounded approach to working through growth because there is never a single answer. No all curing pill. No one inspirational quote. It takes a suite of tools and I’m passionate about empowering myself and others with a full hardware store in our back pockets! So, with personal growth and busting through fear in mind, these are my go to’s:
Oils, oils, oils: essential oils have been used for millennia to shift mood and feelings, and dōTERRA has the highest quality in the market. In order to get an effect from an oil it MUST be 100% pure, otherwise forget it, your human cells know the difference between mama nature and synthesis (check the research that confirm this here). For this kind of space I use oils that support a sense of safety, belonging and transformation and that ground me back to the earth, stop me from running away with my emotions. Manuka for being upheld and supported, Marjoram for connection, Cedarwood for community, Bergamot for self-acceptance, Arborvitae and Balance for grounding and reconnecting me to the energy of the earth and DDR Prime for transformation.
I hear you, you reckon it’s crazy. These oils can’t make you feel this way! On the contrary, these oils are your fast track to hijacking your emotions and taking control. As I said, millennia. These descriptions are derived from a combination of historical use (how people have felt in response to using each essential oil or plant), and biochemistry (what pathways are influenced by the essential oil chemistry, and what neuro-chemical changes occur as a result). Ancient wisdom meets, and surpasses modern science :)
Emotional Anatomy: lean into who you are. Develop your understanding of your over-riding mind-body type and use that insight to connect with your deepest potential.
So much of my personal story is tied up in my Base and Sacral chakras and the more I understand it, the more I can see it expressing itself, the more I can give it the space to be processed and let go, or integrated. I now use this information to choose what type of yoga I do, what kind of foods I eat, what time of day I do certain activities etc., so that I’m working with my unique expression rather than blindly adopting whatever is going in the hope that some benefit will rub off.
Desire Mapping: far from just being an awesome planning tool, identifying your Core Desired Feelings is another way of facilitating behavioural change. How many times do you commit to some goal, some new behaviour (exercise, saying no etc.) only to start out strong and then completely fall off the wagon? The way Desire Mapping happens, the guided process of enquiry, its deep. It gives you the opportunity to connect with what makes you tick, what drives you, in a truly heart-centred way. And once you have them, those Core Desired Feelings become your beacon, your talisman. Every decision you make, every move, every action is held up against these feelings and given a hell yes, or a no way! Your guidance system is dialled up to full throttle, and your intuition finally gets a permanent seat at the table. Do it.
And if I happen to uncover something that really stirs up my emotions, then I’ll use EFT and more oils, to support me to process and get to the root of the issue. Do you know what I love most about these tools? Anyone can use them. These are all totally accessible SELF help tools which is awesome, because taking responsibility and helping yourself is empowering. It is the very definition of empowerment. If you want to learn more about Emotional Anatomy, oils or Desire Mapping you can join my facebook group (search for Team Alchemy) - it’s free and there’s a bunch of resources, short courses and videos to guide you in your journey.
Big love to your bad-ass xx