Posts tagged Emotional support
Courage, Chakra's, Emotional Anatomy and Oils

Practical tools to empower you to be courageous

COURAGEOUS. When was the last time you felt it?

I am working with women all the time who are brave, strong, intelligent and impactful - yet they regularly show up feeling fearful and anxious. Worried about who they are, whether they're doing the right thing, are they enough? It's crazy and yet it's so common, myself included!

Recently, I was reminded of the courage within. As our eldest took an enormous leap of faith in letting go of one her bedtime rituals that she has held onto for months and months - terrified of letting it go. She would tell me, "no, I'm too scared" and I would get so frustrated knowing how capable she was, and yet she didn't know it.

More recently I felt a shift in her. She's been more confident, taking more risks, being more independent so I decided to raise it again with her, and again she said "no, I'm too scared". This time though I guided her to focus on her body, walked her through some affirmations and drew the links for her about how she felt different depending on what thoughts and words she chose to express. We practiced using positive words to replace fear, and she noticed the difference in her body. So with a gentle nudge she chose to have a go, to trust in her body, to have faith in herself.

And her PRIDE. Oh my goodness! Heart explosions everywhere. Literally, I felt my heart expand both for how she felt about herself, and how I felt about her. In this moment she has conquered the world and she is masterful. And I thought "my goodness she's so brave!". Am I that brave?

Quite literally, the heart chakra is all about acceptance, self-acceptance.  Courage and pride are the most magnified expressions of self-acceptance.

It reminded me of how much courage we have as children. When the world is so big, new people, places, concepts, skills, feelings everywhere - and yet we ask them to be brave. EVERY DAY. And they are, repeatedly.

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Then we grow up and somewhere between then and now, we get full of fear. Our horizons narrow and we focus on what we feel we can't do, what could go wrong, what other people will think. EVEN THOUGH, everyday we ARE being courageous. Every day we are navigating new terrain, mastering new skills in life, growing ourselves, doing our best.

Courage is not something that you get from the store. It is within. And like any muscle, it gets stronger the more attention we give and the more exercise it gets.

Focus on your courage. Know that you are enough. You are capable. You can do it. Give your energy to that which serves you, starve the parts that don't.

NEVER STOP BEING COURAGEOUS.

What to do when you’re not feeling courageous? Well, first step is to tune in - what’s going on, what fears are surfacing? Getting clear about the fear supports you to be targeted in your response. Just blanket going hell for leather without understanding what’s motivating you is both dangerous and ineffective. Courage sits in the heart chakra, but fear sits in the root. So it is worth looking at long term fears that you hold regarding your security, foundations, your belonging and survival. Keep enquiring and exploring until you hit on the issue that feels right. You’ll know it, we all do. Sometimes we don’t want to accept it, but that doesn’t mean we don’t know it. Challenge number one, don’t turn away ;)

I always use a rounded approach to working through growth because there is never a single answer. No all curing pill. No one inspirational quote. It takes a suite of tools and I’m passionate about empowering myself and others with a full hardware store in our back pockets! So, with personal growth and busting through fear in mind, these are my go to’s:

  • Oils, oils, oils: essential oils have been used for millennia to shift mood and feelings, and dōTERRA has the highest quality in the market. In order to get an effect from an oil it MUST be 100% pure, otherwise forget it, your human cells know the difference between mama nature and synthesis (check the research that confirm this here). For this kind of space I use oils that support a sense of safety, belonging and transformation and that ground me back to the earth, stop me from running away with my emotions. Manuka for being upheld and supported, Marjoram for connection, Cedarwood for community, Bergamot for self-acceptance, Arborvitae and Balance for grounding and reconnecting me to the energy of the earth and DDR Prime for transformation.

I hear you, you reckon it’s crazy. These oils can’t make you feel this way! On the contrary, these oils are your fast track to hijacking your emotions and taking control. As I said, millennia. These descriptions are derived from a combination of historical use (how people have felt in response to using each essential oil or plant), and biochemistry (what pathways are influenced by the essential oil chemistry, and what neuro-chemical changes occur as a result). Ancient wisdom meets, and surpasses modern science :)

  • Emotional Anatomy: lean into who you are. Develop your understanding of your over-riding mind-body type and use that insight to connect with your deepest potential.

So much of my personal story is tied up in my Base and Sacral chakras and the more I understand it, the more I can see it expressing itself, the more I can give it the space to be processed and let go, or integrated. I now use this information to choose what type of yoga I do, what kind of foods I eat, what time of day I do certain activities etc., so that I’m working with my unique expression rather than blindly adopting whatever is going in the hope that some benefit will rub off.

  • Desire Mapping: far from just being an awesome planning tool, identifying your Core Desired Feelings is another way of facilitating behavioural change. How many times do you commit to some goal, some new behaviour (exercise, saying no etc.) only to start out strong and then completely fall off the wagon? The way Desire Mapping happens, the guided process of enquiry, its deep. It gives you the opportunity to connect with what makes you tick, what drives you, in a truly heart-centred way. And once you have them, those Core Desired Feelings become your beacon, your talisman. Every decision you make, every move, every action is held up against these feelings and given a hell yes, or a no way! Your guidance system is dialled up to full throttle, and your intuition finally gets a permanent seat at the table. Do it.

And if I happen to uncover something that really stirs up my emotions, then I’ll use EFT and more oils, to support me to process and get to the root of the issue. Do you know what I love most about these tools? Anyone can use them. These are all totally accessible SELF help tools which is awesome, because taking responsibility and helping yourself is empowering. It is the very definition of empowerment. If you want to learn more about Emotional Anatomy, oils or Desire Mapping you can join my facebook group (search for Team Alchemy) - it’s free and there’s a bunch of resources, short courses and videos to guide you in your journey.

Big love to your bad-ass xx

An Epic Take on Ditching Stress & Anxiety

Overwhelm - that sensation of being consumed and drowning.

When you're overwhelmed, emotions are running high and rational thought is running low.  Overwhelm is a key signal that you are in the flight or fight response.  When you reach overwhelm you have likely been feeling inundated with difficult circumstances, repeatedly.  Initially designed to get us out of short-term life-threatening situations, the stress response increases cortisol and diverts energy from your non-essential systems (eg. digestion) to your essential systems (eg. respiration, circulation) to ensure your greatest assets and strengths are primed for survival.  

Unfortunately, for many of us our flight-or-fight response is perpetually switched on due to the demands of today's lifestyle.  Let's review the list........

  • Financial burden: mortgages, credit card debt, 
  • Career pressure: am I successful / happy / aligned / contributing / achieving?
  • Parenting perfection: trying to be ALL things, to smALL people - present, nurturing, independent, boundary enforcing, engaged and involved without being a helicopter parent
  • Nurturing relationships with spouse / partner while maintaining indpendence
  • Respecting wellness: it is inordinately expensive to feed your body with organic, whole, sustainable and ethically sourced food and engage in exercise, yoga, pilates.  Have you seen the cost of yoga gear!!
  • Relaxing: finding ways to switch off and  but not with more than two glasses of wine or you're an alcoholic
  • Keep up with the latest research / news / entertainment / technology while switching off your device to limit exposure to wi-fi

Hello downward spiral.  Yep.  It's easy to see how we end up in overwhelm.

There is plenty of information available offering solutions to manage anxiety and stress.  However, I generally find an abundance of advice with limited practical application.  My offering to you is to give practical tools that you can use anywhere, anytime to clear your mind and body of the anxiety that limits us into thinking that we are somehow not enough, right now.

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When you are feeling stressed, try essential oils that help to open the airways so you can breathe deeply.  Deep breathing is still the most effective, clinically proven method of reducing stress.  Adding essential oils makes it far more effective, particularly if you have trouble expanding your lungs - because you're so uptight!  Easy Air, Peppermint, Cardamom or Lemon all support deep, oxygenating breaths that slow your heart rate, body and mind.  Once you're breathing well apply some oils that ground, centre and calm the nervous systems such as Balance, Vetiver, Cedarwood, Frankincense or Patchouli.  Add some oils to uplift your mood such as Wild Orange, Bergamot or Melissa and you'll be feeling like your old self in no time.  Once you've taken some deep breaths and let your body and mother nature do their work, it's time to delve a little deeper into other ways you can support yourself.

Emotional Anatomy provides remarkable insight into your natural characteristics and tendencies.  For example, if you're a Vata type you'll need to regularly ground yourself to ensure your flighty nature doesn't succeed in running away with you.  Faced with a crisis or the pressures of consistent high load, Vata types can experience an excess of thoughts, darting around in their heads and creating a lot of noise.  Standard response is to take flight. Regular grounding using essential oils, yoga or getting out in nature with bare feet will work wonders.  Pitta types on the other hand thrive on high levels of activity, both mental and physical. But we all have limits and if there is too much rigid structure, and not enough flexibility and choice, then the Pitta will end up stressed, tense and likely have digestive issues.  So keeping options open and doing meditation to clear the mind and body of excess energy will support you in the day to day.  And ditch the coffee, you don't need it!  Kapha types tend to go a little more slowly, they take their time to digest and need to maintain close links to their tribe in order to keep on an even keel.  During times of high stress you need to take time to connect with loved ones, and slow down. 

EFT Once you understand where your stress and anxiety is coming from, then you can get into the nitty gritty about why YOU'RE CREATING the environment that perpetuates the problem.  Yes, we all do.  You have control over far more than you think.  Understanding your behavioural patterns will give you enormous leverage in changing your life.  Whose expectations are you trying to meet?  What are you trying to prove?  Why?  The questions and answers are different for everyone and shifting beliefs that don't serve you will position you for far greater success, and peace.

I find it extraordinary that we are killing ourselves with stress.  The World Health Organisation reports that more than half the deaths that occur worldwide each year are the result of lifestyle choices.  'LIFE-STYLE'.  As in, how you style your life.  Do you want to style a life for yourself that results in stress, disease and death?  

I sure as sh*t don't!

I want a life that is full of joy, abundance, heart-warming connection, humour, intimacy, beauty and wild success.  I want to leave this planet knowing I did everything possible to give the most I could, and live the best I could be.  I want to know that my children, future women of the world, know fundamentally that they are connected to the planet, the universe, each other, me and most importantly themselves.  And that they nurture those connections of mind, body and spirit.  My job is to model HOW to do that, enough so that they get the picture and then grow up to go out and find their own ways of doing it, and contribute that to their world. 

So I do the work everyday to improve myself, to better my practice, to lighten my heart and to share that with others.  Because we learn through experience, we must take action.  Ain't nobody gettin' nowhere sittin' around thinking about stuff.  It's called 'contemplating your navel' and it's an incredibly indulgent behaviour.  Progress, momentum, change, growth, expansion - all require action.  So get up, learn about what's best for you, grab some oils and start tapping.  I love to hear how you use these tools in your daily life, post a comment below!

Jo x